My blogs are written to share my knowledge of how neuroscience can help you make positive and enduring changes in all areas of your life.
When your nervous system has been primed by trauma, you can overreact to perceived “dangers” that aren’t life-threatening, like when your boss questions you or someone cuts in line in front of you. When you’re a trauma survivor, your defensive states can hi-jack your brain.
Most of us have never learned how to have compassion for ourselves.
I remember when I first learned about self-compassion during my doctoral studies at NYU, and my professor challenged me to consider, “Think about the way you speak to yourself. If you spoke to your friends the way you speak to yourself, would you have any?”
How good are you at first impressions? Here are important
tips and advice to keep in mind the next time you’re meeting
someone new.
Most of us were taught that procrastination is not an effective strategy for getting things done. The common belief is that we shouldn’t put off assignments or projects until the last minute. The implication is that completing a task at the last second would mean being doomed to stress, chaos, and maybe even total failure if things didn’t come together as planned. But is it possible that procrastination may actually be an efficient strategy for some?
Emotional intelligence includes 4 different pillars that determine our ability to navigate our emotional world. These pillars include: self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy (“other-awareness”), and social skills.
How well do you manage your time? What are the common time management mistakes you should avoid? If you’re like many people, your experience with time management may not be completely positive! Perhaps you feel overloaded, and you often have to work late to hit your deadlines. Or maybe your days seem to
Why does it always seem easier to ask for something for someone else? We will ask our child’s teacher for something we think will improve their learning, we will ask a co-worker for a charitable donation for an organization we are supporting, and we will stand up and defend a
You might believe the common myth that good families do not have problems. Perhaps, you have also heard the one that implies that as a good parent, you will not have a child with any sort of issues. These ideas are false. Your family is not abnormal just because there
Long-term relationships are usually predicated on some degree of initial sexual chemistry: the body parts move well together; a partner’s scent or touch sends shivers. Their looks excite us from afar and drive us wild up close. The feel and fit electrify beyond words. We feel desire. Ultimately the important
At one time or another, everyone experiences needless anger. Here are some specific signals that will tell you when anger is creating problems for you. When it is too frequent. There are many situations for which becoming angry is justified and natural. However, we often get angry when it is
I recently had someone ask me the question, “HOW DO I BECOME SUCCESSFUL AT LIFE?” While most people would respond to this question by saying that success is individual, it’s subjective, and no one can tell you how to achieve success… I respectfully disagree. Becoming successful in life is actually
Autophobia is an anxiety disorder that is triggered by the idea and experience of spending time alone. Like other anxiety disorders, autophobia may lead to some physical, as well as psychological, symptoms. Autophobia can be distressing to experience and may have a negative impact on a person’s life if left
I can’t emphasize this enough; your mood when you enter into a conversation defines how successful it will be. Many of my clients struggle with this quite a bit. But after they see me and learn how to enter into a heated discussion properly, they have reported back to me how
At one time or another, everyone gets stuck in uncertainty. It’s a scary place to be, and can leave us feeling out of control, hopeless, and helpless. Although each of us differs in how much of life’s ambiguity we can tolerate (I personally despise it), there are some situations that
Look around (like, literally look around or scan your timeline or Twitter feed). You may have noticed that we’re making huge strides in destigmatizing mental illness, and that’s fantastic. The importance of treating your mental health as you would your physical health is a pretty well-accepted principle. It’s becoming less
If you have high expectations and meaningful goals, along the way you will undoubtedly face times of disappointment. Haven’t you found the bigger the dream, the bigger disappointments you have to overcome? Setbacks are Inevitable While you can’t choose your circumstances, you can choose determination over disappointment. Setbacks are inevitable;
Before reading my suggestions below, please understand that anything you’re feeling right now is completely normal. We are all facing the same external situation, but each of us will have different reactions based on our personalities, values, and life experiences. Yesterday, I spoke with an anxious entrepreneur in his early fifties who had to
Our brains are constantly being shaped by experience. Most of us have very different behaviors and thoughts today than we did 20 years ago. This shift is neuroplasticity in action; changes in brain structure and organization as we experience, learn, and adapt. With every repetition of a thought or emotion,
Let’s get straight to the point. We’ve got two modes of thinking & both are crucial. System 1 (Thinking Fast) and System 2 (Thinking Slow). System 1 is the part of the brain that handles the simple things: sensory input, automatic and unimportant decisions, casual social interactions, and other inbound
Being able to identify the Four Horsemen in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to eliminating them and replacing them with healthy, productive communication patterns. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is a metaphor depicting the end of times in the New Testament. They describe conquest, war, hunger,
Anger is not the problem; it is a normal, healthy emotional response to a real or perceived hurt or slight. It is how people handle the emotion of anger that becomes the problem. You cannot change the way anger makes you feel – but you can change how you respond to the feelings! Physically,
If you have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), previously known as ADD, everything from paying the bills on time to keeping up with work, family, and social demands can seem overwhelming. ADHD can present challenges across all areas of life and can be tough on your health and both your personal and
Fear is something that we all experience, but what is most important is how we respond to it. Fear is a necessary evolutionary response to either physical or emotional danger; it helps us to survive and protect ourselves from real threats that exist in this world. While fear is there
So, the people around you have let you down. I’m sorry if you are going through that, I really am. There are few feelings more frustrating than being unsupported when you need support most. Then reaching out and having no one respond. Then slowly falling apart and having the person you
Analysis paralysis is the act of over analyzing or overthinking a situation so that a decision or an action is never taken. In effect, you’re paralyzing the outcome. You’re becoming your own obstacle, your own roadblock on your path to your big goals and dreams. Why do we do this?
No one human is absent of emotion. Emotions are a central part of the human experience. Sometimes, they may even influence business decisions. But is it OK to let them? 1. Hit Pause During The Emotion Dance Emotional labor has a place at work, and calibration is more natural for
The brain is like any other organ in the body. If you exercise it, it performs better. An efficient brain can accomplish more, with greater accuracy, in less time. My program utilizing your brains neuroplasticity provides high performers with the tools to train and exercise neural-nets in the same way
Emotional balance is the ability of the mind and body to maintain equilibrium and flexibility in the face of challenge and change. Emotional balance promotes physical health and is a prerequisite for personal wellbeing and growth. What we experience as our mind is made up of our thoughts and emotions,
Scientific understanding of the way the brain works has been changing rapidly. Less than a decade ago, brainwave patterns were believed to be unimportant; the brain fixed and unchangeable. Neuroscience was therefore deemed ‘scientifically impossible’, thus subject to immediate dismissal. These days, medical science has realized that these long-held beliefs about the
Many people grow up with fears around abandonment. Some are plagued by these fears pretty consistently throughout their lives. They worry they’ll be rejected by peers, partners, schools, companies, or entire social circles. For many others, these fears aren’t fully realized until they enter into a romantic relationship. Things will
Social distancing is the newest buzzword of our culture, and #FlattenTheCurve is our latest hashtag as we all stumble through this unprecedented reality of coronavirus, but I will be honest—it’s an inconvenient, anxiety-inducing time to have a complicated history with food and exercise. How can we prioritize eating disorder recovery
When something upsetting happens and you go along with that first rush of adrenaline, your brain will begin to send you every thought and memory possible to validate your anger and frustration. So, within seconds, as the adrenaline begins to course through your veins, you are completely captivated. It will
Emotional intelligence could be the secret of long-term intimate relationships, mainly because it makes us highly aware of the changes — big and small — that occur in ourselves and others on a regular basis. It involves the ability to appreciate and accept your own emotions and handle them in
Last year, a poll indicated that only one in three Americans is reportedly “very happy.” Maybe this surprises you or maybe it doesn’t, but what it likely tells us is that the majority of the population is looking for a change. Whether it’s their job, their relationship, their city or
Willpower is a form of self-control. Someone with a strong sense of willpower has self-awareness and the ability to use thought-out decision-making skills. Too often we hear about people who lack willpower. There are quite a few individuals who have the extraordinary ability to control their impulses and exercise restraint.
We recognize that our minds control our reality and that if we want to improve ourselves, we must discipline our minds to practice growth instead of destruction. The following principles outline my approach to battling anxiety and depression. Principle 1: Everyone Has a Legacy of Insecurity There is no such
A Checklist for Clear Communication Think of how often you communicate with people during the day. You write emails, facilitate meetings, participate in conference calls, create reports, devise presentations, debate with your colleagues… the list goes on. We can spend almost our entire day communicating. So, it stands to reason
Don’t expect a clear and well-defined vision overnight—envisioning your life and determining the course you will follow requires time and reflection. You need to cultivate vision and perspective, and you also need to apply logic and planning for the practical application of your vision. Your best vision blossoms from your
Here are some tips on your ability to not only dream, but to carry them to success. 1. Do your dreams stir your passion and challenge your talents and abilities? If your dreams are just a set of attainable goals, they do not qualify as dreams. Ask yourself the following question
Receive a variety of tips, exercises, and other helpful neuroplasticity resources you can use in everyday life.
